future

We went walking around Cornwall Park today. It was grey. Time feels scarce. I promised to keep an eye on the crows an the ghost tree. My father asked me what my vision for the future was, what I wanted to do with my life.

Guilt. I didn’t have an answer and I didn’t know what to say. It couldn’t tell him that this was taking up my whole life. That this is what I was trying to do well right now.

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Cell Phone

He can still set his background photo on his phone. I made him change it to my face.

He wants one last trip to Mary Lyns

He made sure to tell me that his parents were amazing Ballroom dancers. That they would have cocktail parties in his basement and practice dancing. They would all go to the Eagles and dance.

This continues to be such a journey of transitions, surprises, and poignant moments.  Yesterday afternoon we were sitting at your folks’ pool having relaxing conversation and all of a sudden your dad got up, went to their room, and came back with his pill cheat sheet to show Denny what you had made for him.  It was a very sweet moment AND Denny oowed and ahhed over it with Al beaming from ear to ear.  Then he said the only thing missing from the list of meds was a picture of a martini glass and we all exclaimed “No Shit”.  – LH

My dad said he didn’t like vacation because it included a lot of “aimlessly walking around”. I find that hilarious, I feel like he always appears to be a little of a wonderer.

He told me I was a good influence, that I taught him to drink more water and be more hydrated. #soproud

Friday drive

I got the pleasure of driving my Dad from Seattle to Bellingham. 

The sun was shining and the mountains were out to play. 

We talked about how much it would hurt if he forgot who I was. That it hurt when his Mom forgot him. But it’s not his fault. 

Paul Simon, James Taylor, Bob Dylan, Donovan. 

Loud music and singing along

Brunch at Tweets. 

He would consider have a goodbye celebration. A Day or two before VSED- with martinis, friends and stories. 

Dad’s, sunshine, Chuckanut, music, food that feeds the soul, and a gorgeous sunset.

the coin

He has a token to carry in his pocket. It has a rough relief on one side and smooth on the other. The concept of him having a coin in his pocket that would remind him that when he is sad, depressed, frustrated, worried, etc. that he should hold the coin like a worry stone and make a conscious attempt to switch his perspective from the aforementioned to gratitude, love, present moment thinking.
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i.e  I can’t remember which drawer the silverware is in…..I’m frustrated and scared it will get worse…..switch….The trees in the back yard are so pretty this time of year. I love how warm and cozy our kitchen is.
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It’s not in any way to represent angels or heaven, but more to illustrate the two sides of the tokan and the possibility of finding some levity in the blank space of his mind.