We went walking around Cornwall Park today. It was grey. Time feels scarce. I promised to keep an eye on the crows an the ghost tree. My father asked me what my vision for the future was, what I wanted to do with my life.
Guilt. I didn’t have an answer and I didn’t know what to say. It couldn’t tell him that this was taking up my whole life. That this is what I was trying to do well right now.
He can still set his background photo on his phone. I made him change it to my face.
He wants one last trip to Mary Lyns
He made sure to tell me that his parents were amazing Ballroom dancers. That they would have cocktail parties in his basement and practice dancing. They would all go to the Eagles and dance.
This continues to be such a journey of transitions, surprises, and poignant moments. Yesterday afternoon we were sitting at your folks’ pool having relaxing conversation and all of a sudden your dad got up, went to their room, and came back with his pill cheat sheet to show Denny what you had made for him. It was a very sweet moment AND Denny oowed and ahhed over it with Al beaming from ear to ear. Then he said the only thing missing from the list of meds was a picture of a martini glass and we all exclaimed “No Shit”. – LH
My dad said he didn’t like vacation because it included a lot of “aimlessly walking around”. I find that hilarious, I feel like he always appears to be a little of a wonderer.
He told me I was a good influence, that I taught him to drink more water and be more hydrated. #soproud
I got the pleasure of driving my Dad from Seattle to Bellingham.
The sun was shining and the mountains were out to play.
We talked about how much it would hurt if he forgot who I was. That it hurt when his Mom forgot him. But it’s not his fault.
Paul Simon, James Taylor, Bob Dylan, Donovan.
Loud music and singing along
Brunch at Tweets.
He would consider have a goodbye celebration. A Day or two before VSED- with martinis, friends and stories.
Dad’s, sunshine, Chuckanut, music, food that feeds the soul, and a gorgeous sunset.
We talked on the phone yesterday. I asked all the questions, when I went to hang up he said “wait girl, I want to hear about life, how are you doing.” It was the first time he has remembered to ask about me.
“I’m always excited to see you. You and your mother are the two best things in my life.”
The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.
— Omar Khayyam
He has a token to carry in his pocket. It has a rough relief on one side and smooth on the other. The concept of him having a coin in his pocket that would remind him that when he is sad, depressed, frustrated, worried, etc. that he should hold the coin like a worry stone and make a conscious attempt to switch his perspective from the aforementioned to gratitude, love, present moment thinking.
i.e I can’t remember which drawer the silverware is in…..I’m frustrated and scared it will get worse…..switch….The trees in the back yard are so pretty this time of year. I love how warm and cozy our kitchen is.
It’s not in any way to represent angels or heaven, but more to illustrate the two sides of the tokan and the possibility of finding some levity in the blank space of his mind.
“I am moving faster than I would like, but I am thankful I have you, Margot and Ashley as support. My mind is missing pieces.”
It isn’t always easy, but being in the kitchen together feels important.
For two weeks my Dad has been excited that I am stepping away from school after Winter Quarter. That I will have more time at home after March.
Today we talked on the phone, he had forgotten about school.
He said he was having a hard time keeping thoughts straight today.